The Philadelphia Phillies are two wins away from capturing the World Series crown for the first time since 2008. If they vanquish the mighty Houston Astros, it will be a surprise. Regardless of the outcome, though, there will be no joy in Gotham. 

Fans of either club — rivals to the local teams who have managed to outlast them — are hard to find east of the Hudson. It is not just that the Astros regularly defeat the Yankees when the stakes are highest, including this year. The memory of their cheating perfidy of 2017, the stolen signs and garbage can morse code, has lost none of its ability to outrage. 

As for the antagonism between New York and the City of Brotherly Love, it is all the more intense for the two cities being near neighbors. Both hosted America’s government in the years before the District of Columbia was built along the Potomac. Cheesesteaks and bagels each command their own devoted followers. On the gridiron, the Eagles and Giants are bitter rivals.     

The conundrum: If only both the Astros and Phillies could lose, New York would win. The best advice in such a situation was proffered by none other than Prime Minister Begin of Israel toward the end of his epic life. 

In 1980, war was raging between Iran and Iraq. Iran was in the grip of the new but already tyrannical reign of the Ayatollah Khomeini. “We must all rise, destroy Israel,” he exhorted his countrymen.

In Iraq, Saddam Hussein was also a newcomer to the Big Man’s chair. His toppling by American-led forces and subsequent cowering in a spider hole was still decades away, but his reputation for savagery and rapacity was already well earned by a purge of his own Ba’ath Party.

“We wish both sides the greatest success,” Begin quipped.

Back to baseball. All of this could seem histrionic, as there are ample reasons to support either club. The Phillies are Cinderellas, having snuck into the playoffs as a wild-card. They have unexpectedly found a power surge as the weather has chilled. The Astros are metronomes of excellence, having long since demonstrated that their merit outweighs their mendacity.

Something about this matchup, though, rubs New Yorkers the wrong way. There are no heroes, but no shortage of villains. Watching either team doused in champagne will be difficult to stomach. For the Yankees, outfielder Bryce Harper is a star born for pinstripes who nevertheless got away. For the Mets, pitcher Noah “Thor” Syndergaard turned out to be more distraction than divinity.

The only thing to do is to wish the Astros and Phillies both the “greatest success.” The good news is that at least one of them will lose.