‘The Beekeeper’ Review: A B Movie With Lots of Bee Puns
‘The Beekeeper’ doesn’t rank high in the pantheon of Statham action flicks. It’s too dumb, too small, too silly.
Jason Statham would not make a good Hamlet. He knows it, and his audiences know it, too. A Jason Statham film doesn’t promise grand soliloquies or deep examinations of the soul; just big, explosive and bloody fight scenes.
Directed by the inconsistent action auteur David Ayer, his latest movie, “The Beekeeper”, follows a familiar formula, with a fun central conceit and forgettable plot, but enough great action that you don’t mind. Mr. Statham plays a ‘Beekeeper’; a cap-wearing covert assassin operating outside the chain of command, tasked with maintaining order and justice when the law falls short.
It’s the third film released this week about ultra-secret agents named after humdrum professions — along with “The Painter” and “The Bricklayer”. The Beekeeper program is what you’d have if the CIA created a special division of bad-asses who specialize in dispensing Western-film vigilante justice, and Statham is our man with no name.
Or at least, no background; all we know about his character, “Adam Clay,” is that he, like his neighbor, tends to bees, has a funny accent and is exceptionally good at killing people.
Lots of people.
The script is the stuff of tissue paper, but at least its blood-soaked by the end, and though a B-plot involving FBI agents is just expositional filler, those scenes never last too long before we’re back to Mr. Statham’s vicious rampage.
Mr. Statham is an underappreciated movie star, whose aggressive scowl works either as a grave spirit of vengeance — as in his best film, Guy Ritchie’s “Wrath of Man” — or deeply camp cartoon — as best seen in his iconic role, in “Crank.” In “The Beekeeper,” there’s a lot of badass line delivery and dramatic silhouettes, but everyone knows this isn’t too serious. On the contrary, it is dedicated to poker-faced stupidity.
Within the first few minutes, Mr. Statham says, “I’d like to thank you for putting up with me and my bees;” wears a tailored beekeeper’s suit, which looks like a high-fashion fencing uniform; and brings his neighbor an enormous jar of honey as a gift. And then there are the endless bee puns.
The most amusing element is Statham’s faux-American accent, which waivers between non-existent and terrible. Early on, a character notes that his accent has a hint of Blighty to it — no kidding.
The main villains are played by Josh Hutcherson of “The Hunger Games” films, as a scamming-millionaire tech-bro, and Jeremy Irons, as his head of security. Neither are given enough to work with, but their various eclectic deputies are so slimy and deliciously unlikable that they more than make up for this deficit. When one such villain pleads to spared by offering to give Statham crypto and NFTs, you can’t wait to watch him die.
Along with shooting and punching — with comically exaggerated sound design, as though Statham’s fists were made of lead — he takes people out with buzzsaws, staplers, towing cables, elevators and an obligatory jar of honey, all in fairly gory fashion, with physical squibs squirting red henchmen jus.
It’s clear that the producers wanted “The Beekeeper” to be the next “John Wick” or “Equalizer;” and it could have been so had they treated its world with slightly more care. The “Beekeeper” concept is a great foundation of compelling lore to build an action franchise around, but the filmmakers treat it too comically, as just a conceit to mash up action set-pieces and bee-puns.
Similarly, the mission’s stakes start too small — how would a scammer group be so socially destabilizing that they need the ultimate special ops to take them out? — and eventually become too big, to the point where I don’t know who he’d take on in a sequel.
The greatest issue however is Mr. Statham’s perceived invincibility. While John Wick is a killing machine, he’s still a man, getting tired and hurt and sloppy as fights drag on. The stakes feel high and his feats impressive because Keanu Reeves is constantly reminded the audience that Wick is just a man.
The Beekeeper, though, is unstoppable. At one point, a character says, “You’re just a man,” but that’s not true; he’s an action figure, plowing through enemies without breaking a sweat. It’s hard to imagine what villain would be an even match for him. An active volcano perhaps? A Megalodon shark?
‘The Beekeeper’ doesn’t rank high in the pantheon of Statham action flicks. It’s too dumb, too small, too silly, but not in a surreal way like “Crank”. Objectively, it’s a bad movie. Yet, I was smiling throughout.
At one point, a character says, “To bee or not too bee”; and that’s as close to Hamlet as I need in a Statham movie. This line is immediately followed by a car exploding, and Mr. Statham violently killing a dozen baddies. Violence and bee puns; cinema is truly back.