In Defense of Alley Cats: Mr. President, They Have No Major Moral Issues. Remember Mehitabel

Biden’s name-calling of Trump was highly offensive — to our feline friends.

Anthony Grant
A Greek alley cat wrestles with moral issues on the island of Corfu. Anthony Grant

ATHENS — As any American traveler who comes here will almost immediately perceive, Greece has many cats milling about. Call them city cats or island cats, but the main thing is they live in the streets or little sun-drenched alleys. They hunt, or sometimes linger at cafes waiting for the tourists to feed them.

They are the proud alley cats of Greece, and on the whole they go about their lives without wrestling with any kind of moral turpitude. So when President Biden tells President Trump in the debate last night that he has “the morals of an alley cat,” what in tarnation is he talking about?

The most famous alley cat in history might have been The New York Sun’s own Mehitabel, from Don Marquis’ short stories and poems that appeared in the Sun and were anthologized in books starting in the 1920s. Many people, in any event, would agree that the typical cat, of the alley or any other stripe, has more morals than your typical politician — the faltering president included. As for Mr. Biden and his convicted felon son, well, next to Hunter Biden, Felix the Cat is Mother Teresa.

By the way, as France heads into the most contentious legislative vote in its modern history, it is worth noting that none of the parties’ leaders stoop to the level of dredging up the personal lives of rival candidates. It simply isn’t relevant.

When a journalist once asked President Mitterand why he didn’t seek a divorce from his wife Danielle once it was confirmed that he had a mistress, he answered simply that “in life I don’t take away, I prefer to add.” End of story. What matters in most normal countries is leadership, and good leadership can be a little messy.

Alley cats’ morals are feline by definition and therefore are somewhat malleable, too; a cat without a formal home does what he or she needs to do to survive. In that daily struggle, they also keep the rodent population down. In three years of walking the streets of Athens, I have counted just two — two — rats.

One was in a restaurant. In one of the apartment buildings in which I dwelled in New York, there were at least two rats who greeted me every day and that was just in my laundry room. Alley cats might make some mistakes, but overall they do good work and should be commended for it.

Scratches from fights they started? Matted fur and fleas? It all comes with the territory when, like many a political animal, you’ve got no choice but to defend it. It’s for the greater good of the community. We know that President Biden likes dogs — particularly, it seems, ones that bite.

That’s fine, America loves dogs. But we also love our cats, inclusive of those from the alley.  Cats are furry and fine. Lay off the kitties, Mr. President, the worst of them is more morally irreproachable than your politicians.


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