Keep calm and drink on — so says the United States Embassy at London after a new, American-devised tea recipe threatened to upend the special relationship between the country of Starbucks and the country of Earl Grey. 

A chemist from a country where the consumption of coffee ranks higher than that of tea, Michelle Francl, a professor at Bryn Mawr College, is telling Britons how to enjoy their cherished drink. Now the American envoy across the pond is throwing hot water at her proposed concoction, which makes a mockery of a quintessentially British tradition predating America’s founding. 

“Tea is the elixir of camaraderie, a sacred bond that unites our nations,” the U.S. Embassy at London wrote in a statement Wednesday. “We cannot stand idly by as such an outrageous proposal threatens the very foundation of our special relationship.”

Ms. Francl is encouraging tea-drinkers to add a pinch of salt to their brew to “reduce the bitterness.” She also recommends they use a short and stout mug, both tea leaves and teabags, and add warm milk after pouring their tea to reduce the likelihood of curdling. Ms. Francl proposed this recipe in her book, “Steeped: The Chemistry of Tea,” after analyzing scores of research papers and ancient texts dating back more than 1,000 years.

Rest assured, the U.S. Embassy sharply condemned Ms. Francl’s proposition for the “perfect” cup of tea. “We want to assure the good people of the UK that the unthinkable notion of adding salt to Britain’s national drink is not official United States policy,” the Embassy asserted. “And never will be.”

In a departure from the typically solemn statements issued by diplomatic offices, the Embassy showed off its anglophilia once more by invoking what the British do even better than tea — humor. “The US Embassy will continue to make tea in the proper way,” the office continued, “by microwaving it.”

Pro-American sentiment swelled in the comments below the statement posted on X. “I prefer my tea in the harbor,” asserted one user. “The United States was founded by adding salt to tea,” retorted another commenter, who included a painting of the Boston Tea Party Protest of 1773, where Massachusetts colonists, protesting the British parliament’s tax on tea, did indeed mix salt and tea.