He may lack the “Seinfeld” character Frank Costanza’s famously acerbic demeanor, but Rand Paul is no slouch when it comes to celebrating the Christmas-time holiday for the rest of us. In an annual ritual, the libertarian Kentucky senator on Monday continued his Festivus tradition of airing his grievances about government spending for 2024.  

First featured in a 1997 episode of the sitcom “Seinfeld,” Festivus is a secular alternative to Christmas created by George Costanza’s father, Frank. The fictitious holiday is typically celebrated on December 23 and is celebrated with an aluminum pole instead of a Christmas tree “mainly because tinsel is too distracting,” Frank Costanza says in the episode. 

One of the main festivities of the holiday is an “airing of grievances.” Frank Costanza tells those gathered around the dinner table during the celebration, “I got a lot of problems with you people! And now you’re gonna hear about it!”

Mr. Paul has “a lot of problems” with the federal government that he wants the public to know about.

“It’s hard to decide where to start these grievances. Every year, I think, there can’t be THAT many more can there? But when you’re surrounded by people in Congress every day, it’s not a problem at all,” he wrote on X. “So here I am, and once again, I’m going to be playful, sometimes not so playful, and I’ll be roasting the ruling class in Washington, DC. Because how else will you all get into the holiday spirit? Grab your eggnog, sit down near your tree, and prepare to see some chestnuts roasted.”

The Kentucky senator kicked off his list of grievances with the fact that Dr. Anthony Fauci is “still walking around a free man” because Congress would not hold him “accountable” for his rhetoric and policies during the Covid pandemic.

All hope is not lost for Mr. Paul, who noted that he will be chairman of the Senate Homeland Security and Governmental Affairs Committee and have the authority to subpoena Dr. Fauci in the next Congress. 

Turning to his issues with federal government spending, Mr. Paul shared a link to his Festivus report.

His list included $10 billion spent on “maintaining, leasing, and furnishing almost entire empty buildings,” $12 million on a Las Vegas pickleball complex, a $2 million grant to study “kids looking at Facebook ads about food,” and a $700 million “pandemic-era loan” to a “failed trucking company.” 

The report also found some more eye-catching examples of federal spending gone awry, according to Mr. Paul, such as a man using $8 million in Covid relief funds to buy an island in Florida. 

“The real casualty of this isn’t just the theft of 8 million dollars but the erosion of trust in government. It’s a cautionary tale for Congress and federal agencies: always read the fine print, especially when safeguarding $4.2 trillion of Americans’ hard-earned money from the clutches of modern-day pirates,” the report says.

Another example of “wasteful” spending identified by the senator’s staff was a decision by the State Department to spend $3 million on “Girl-Centered Climate Action” in Brazil.

“Apparently, the climate can’t be saved without first dividing it up into gender-based silos. Because, as we all know, carbon emissions and rising sea levels are deeply concerned with Inclusivity,” the report says. “We’re spending millions of taxpayer dollars to teach Brazilian girls how to be the most woke climate warriors they can be.”

The report also highlighted the Agency for International Development spending $20 million on a “Sesame Street show in Iraq to promote ‘inclusion’ and ‘mutual respect’”

“Because when tanks and missiles fail, our best backup plan is to send in the Muppets,” the report quipped. 

Winding down examples of outrageous spending, Mr. Paul’s staff found a $10,000 grant to the Bearded Ladies Cabaret from the National Endowment for the Arts for a “climate change-themed ice-skating” performance.

The final allocation mentioned in Mr. Paul’s report was three grants for breakdancing. 

“These grants total $32,596.12 in U.S. taxpayer money directed towards enhancing Olympic breakdancing endeavors and Nigerian breakdancing workshops and performances,” the report reads. 

Mr. Paul said on X he was a “one-man DOGE before DOGE was a gleam in the eyes of amp-ed up tech executives and new media barons.”

“Don’t get me wrong, I’m VERY Happy they’re here,” he added. 

He said he shared 2,000 pages of “waste” for Elon Musk and Vivek Ramaswamy to make their work of finding government spending to cut a little easier.