It took nine months and a huge amount of propaganda, but the Iraq Study Group’s report neither presented a solution to the American dilemma in Iraq nor raised a single serious alternative to the present course.

Virtually every recommendation from the bipartisan group is unrealistic, misleading, fantastical, whimsical, and fanciful.

Downsizing American combat troops from the present level of 140,000 in favor of “embedding” American military personnel as advisers or trainers with Iraqi troops is insane. It only means delivering those troops who remain into the hands of Iraqi and foreign insurgents, kidnappers, and Iranian operatives.

If the past year demonstrated anything, it is the absence of the Iraqi army and security forces. What exists are competing Shiite, Kurd, and Sunni militias that don similar uniforms but pursue private agendas and loyalties. If they aren’t busy killing each other, they will turn their attention to the American soldiers in their midst — who will be kidnapped, held for ransom, traded, tortured, and killed.

The next phase in Iraq, therefore, can be called the humiliation and downsizing of America.

Linking an American withdrawal to the performance of a nonexistent Iraqi military is a nonstarter. These security structures have failed repeatedly to materialize, despite numerous attempts to create and train them. Even when they are established, they quickly disintegrate.

The reason they cannot perform as disciplined forces, let alone as army units, is the absence of command and purpose and of a vision that unifies an army. Beyond that, the Iraqi government itself is nothing more than a collection of fiefdoms belonging to factions, each devoted to enriching themselves and devoid — like the army — of any national purpose.

Nothing comes from nothing, so no improvement can be anticipated here.

Equally absurd is the group’s recommendation for a regional “diplomatic offensive” to build an international consensus about stability in Iraq.

Neighboring countries have competing and conflicting agendas for the outcome in Iraq. Iran and Syria are actively supporting factions to shape an Iranian-style theocracy or a Baathist autocracy, while Saudi Arabia, Jordan, Kuwait, and the United Arab Emirates are advocating for the Sunnis to destabilize Shiite-dominated Iraq further.

These countries would rather keep Iraq unstable than see it fall to one camp. Furthermore, any regional gathering will not be among military equals. Iran’s armed forces and power dwarf that of Saudi Arabia.

Incongruous recommendations, by group participants such as Vernon Jordan, to promote interfaith “healing” between Sunnis and Shiites would be laughable were they not so cynical. Such psychobabble betrays a deep ignorance of Islam. A 13-century-old feud between the two main branches of Islam is not about to he healed by an American initiative for dialogue among Muslims.

Similarly, the recommendation of renewed commitment to a comprehensive, American-mediated Arab-Israeli peace process leaves anyone with experience in the region simply dazed. How can we expect millions of Iraqi Shiites, Sunnis, Kurds, Christians, secularists, and former Baathists — now fighting over oil revenues, influence, and distribution of power — to cease and desist just because America brokered an agreement thousands of miles away between the Israelis and the Palestinian Arabs?

But the one that takes the cake is the recommendation for America to hold talks with Iran and Syria.

These two governments’ goals are diametrically opposed to those of America, which seeks to leave a country capable of defending its borders and sovereign in making its decisions. Syria and Iran want Iraq in their sphere of influence. For either to do a 180-degree turn will require major gifts: nuclear technology and a big brother role in the Persian Gulf for Iran; a free hand for the Shiite Hezbollah militia in Lebanon; a return of Syrian influence there; and American pressure on Israel to return the Golan Heights to Syria.

I know it’s the holiday season, but the spirit of American charity cannot extend to such handouts.