DALLAS — Darlene Ewing is a Democratic activist, longtime feminist and very frustrated Hillary Clinton supporter.

Like many who have dreamed of seeing a female in the Oval Office, Ms. Ewing doesn’t understand why women are drifting in ever-greater numbers away from Ms. Clinton toward her rival, Barack Obama. This trend, which has imperiled the candidacy of a qualified, competent woman once considered a shoo-in for her party’s nomination, infuriates the frank-talking Texan.

“They’re running to the rock star, to the momentum, to the excitement,” Ms. Ewing, a family law attorney who chairs the Dallas County Democratic Party, said. “And I am worried that if Hillary doesn’t get elected, I am never going to see a woman president in my lifetime. I do think her chances are slipping away and it [ticks] me off.”

This sentiment is being expressed around the country — in testy dinner-party conversations, around the water cooler, and in the public square. As Mrs. Clinton’s shot at the nomination boils down to two March 4 contests — in the delegate-rich states of Texas and Ohio, where she is running neck and neck with Mr. Obama — many women who support the New York senator are angry and saddened by their sisters’ desertion to the other side.

Old-school feminists have lined up against each other. Some chapters of the National Organization for Women are supporting Mrs. Clinton, others are for Mr. Obama. There have been unseemly arguments about which candidate is more pro-choice than the other. Some women experience the rise of Mr. Obama as they might the ripping open of a persistent wound: An older, more experienced woman is pushed aside to make way for a younger male colleague.

One of the most passionate “cris de coeur” came from the feminist poet and novelist Robin Morgan, 67 in an essay that became something of a cyberspace sensation after she posted it February 5 on the Women’s Media Center Web site. Ms. Morgan decried the casual acceptance of sexism on the campaign trail this season — from the two young men who shouted “Iron my shirt!” at Mrs. Clinton to the Hillary-themed nutcrackers available in airport gift shops.

But Ms. Morgan reserved her greatest ire for women who won’t support Mrs. Clinton “while wringing their hands because Hillary isn’t as likable as they’ve been warned they must be. … Grow the hell up. She is not running for Ms. Perfect-pure-queen-icon of the feminist movement. She’s running to be president of the United States.”

Last week’s Los Angeles Times/ Bloomberg poll found Mrs. Clinton’s solid support from women to be dwindling. Women are now evenly divided between the two Democratic candidates, although Mrs. Clinton still enjoys a sizable advantage among women 65 and older, who prefer her three-to-one to Mr. Obama.

Gloria Steinem, a Clinton supporter, weighed in with an essay in the New York Times in which she claimed that, in public and private spheres alike, women have a tougher time than black men.

“Gender,” wrote Ms. Steinem, “is probably the most restricting force in American life, whether the question is who must be in the kitchen or who could be in the White House. … Black men were given the vote a half-century before women of any race were allowed to mark a ballot and generally have ascended to positions of power … before any women.”

Even “Saturday Night Live” recently got into the act when guest host Tina Fey expressed her outrage.

“We have our first serious female presidential candidate in Hillary Clinton,” Ms. Fey said. “And yet women have come so far as feminists that they don’t feel obligated to vote for a candidate just because she is a woman. Women today feel perfectly free to make whatever choice Oprah tells them to.”

Many women who support Mr. Obama say they were torn, but are unapologetic about their choice. For many, the decision turns on one vote cast by Mrs. Clinton in 2002: the bill authorizing President Bush to invade Iraq.

Last month, a group calling itself “New York Feminists for Peace and Barack Obama,” circulated an online petition that was a qualified endorsement of the Illinois senator. It was so popular that the words “New York” were dropped and the effort went national.

“Choosing to support Senator Obama was not an easy decision because electing a woman president would be a cause for celebration in itself and because we deplore the sexist attacks against Senator Clinton that have circulated in the media,” read the petition. “However, we also recognize that the election of Barack Obama would be another historic achievement and that his support for gender equality has been unwavering.”

Katha Pollitt, an author and columnist for the Nation, was one of the signers. “I think Hillary has been the target of a great big set of double standards, and in the end, I do know people who are supporting her because of the misogynistic attacks against her,” Ms. Pollitt said. But she took issue with Ms. Steinem’s comparison.

“And even if it were true … that still doesn’t mean you should vote for Hillary Clinton,” Ms. Pollitt said. “It might mean you should fight for better enforcement of anti-sex discrimination rules, but it doesn’t mean you should vote for the candidate most likely to wage a war.”