Deitch Projects Goes Bananas

It was a typical afternoon at The New York Sun until our receptionist Michelle Eusebio rang me up and said, "There's a banana for you at the front desk. It just arrived by messenger." "A what?" I said. Didn't she mean, oh, i don't know, a bouquet of flowers? a box of chocolates? No, she did not. "A banana," she said, in a completely matter of fact tone. I guess Michelle has seen her share of things arrive by messenger. I rushed out to retrieve my banana, fortunately not slipping on the way (that's supposed to come later). And there it was on Michelle's desk: a banana, not green, not overripe, just right for eating. Except I couldn't do that before I had answered: Why me, why a banana, and why a banana by messenger? The writing was on the peel. It was neatly printed with my name and address, confirming that this banana was intended for me, and not, well, some of the apes in my office, who shall remain nameless. The sight of my handwritten name made me wonder about the art of writing on a banana. What great literary works might Tarzan have produced, had only someone thought to read his bananas? Clearly, Jane had not thought of doing that. On the other side of the banana, there were a bunch of those stickers that usually tell you what corporate entity you have to thank for your banana. The stickers on my banana told me not only who had sent it, but for what puprose. That's when I realized I'd been acting as dumb as an ape. It was an invitation, of course. What else would anyone bother to send by messenger to the society editor of a newspaper with a daily column covering parties? And so there you have it: I've been invited to the opening of an exhibit at Deitch Projects, featuring the work of graphic designer Stefan Sagmeister, on January 31. I met Mr. Sagmeister once, at the inaugural Vilcek Awards ceremony. He designed the award. At Deitch, he'll be showing off work to be published in a book, with the title "Things I Have Learned In My Life So Far." Thanks to Mr. Sagmeister, I have learned how to turn a banana into an invitation, and how to transfer banana stickers onto paper. And now for my big slip..